2 OUT OF 3 AIN'T BAD
Into the Fire
Seth
Fair Game
Legacy
Learning Curve
Point of View
Deadman Switch
Demons
Rules of Engagement
Forever in a Day
Past and Present
Into The Fire
"What, the gray doesn't bother you?" -- O'Neill
"It's just a deep bleeding gash, but it'll be fine." -- Jackson
"There is an old Jaffa saying, General Hammond. They do not build them as they once did." -- Teal'c
"You heard me! I said Kree!!" -- O'Neill
Seth
"It is the crest of the Linvress" -- Teal'c
"Which is what? Or who?" -- O'Neill
"A rival league of lesser Go'auld who challenge the system lords" -- Teal'c
"A minor league?" -- O'Neill
"Yes, there are nine" -- Teal'c
"Five, six, seven, eight, nine. Found them" -- Carter
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"You guys are the talk of the Tok'ra water cooler, kicking some major Hathor behind." -- Jacob
"Kind of gives 'needle in a haystack' a whole new meaning." -- O'Neill
"Jaffa jokes? Let's hear one of them." -- O'Neill
"A Serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's nose drips." -- Teal'c
'AK-47s, couple Uzis. Anyone think they observed the requisite 15-day waiting period for those weapons?" -- O'Neill
"Well, I'm Larry, this is Moe, and of course everyone's favorite, Curly." -- O'Neill
Fair Game
"Thank Yu... Sorry." -- O'Neill
"All right, just hang on a second before you go dooming everybody..." -- O'Neill
"To borrow from a human euphemism, it is not a perfect galaxy." -- Thor
"Okay, she's dead. Right? Please tell me she's dead." -- O'Neill
"Certainly not those lyin', schemin', no good for nothin', slimy, overdressed, style-mongers.... I wasn't finished..." -- O'Neill
"Hey, we didn't do this to you, and we saved your snaky little butt because we want the treaty to happen." -- O'Neill
"Boy, is she gonna get it." -- Jackson
"My heart bleeds." -- O'Neill
Legacy
"Why didn't they come through my closet? Aside from the fact that yours is cleaner?" -- O'Neill
"Why don't we just put a little sign at the base of the ramp that says 'Gate travel may be hazardous to your health'? I can live with that." -- O'Neill
"That's because it was just stress. And I have a very calming effect on stressed-out people." -- O'Neill
Learning Curve
"Teal'c's eager on the inside." -- O'Neill
"Daniel, have fun. I know you will. Teal'c, make friends, as always." -- O'Neill
"So, Merrin, I understand you're a reactor expert." -- O'Neill
"Yes." -- Merrin
"How old are you?" -- O'Neill
"I'm eleven. How old are you?" -- Merrin
"So, Merrin, I understand you're a reactor expert." -- O'Neill
"You aren't a scientist?" -- Merrin
"Oh, no." --O'Neill
"Then you are not as smart as Major Carter and Dr. Fraiser." -- Merrin
"Well, it depends on what you mean by... okay, no, I'm not." -- O'Neill
"In the future, Major, before you activate any device that includes the word 'reactor,' I would appreciate it if you would notify me." -- Hammond
"Bambinas! Che carucci! Quella fore! Pizzeria! Mamma mia!" -- O'Neill
Point of View
"So it's possible there's an alternate version of myself out there that actually understands what the hell you're talking about?" -- O'Neill
"For all we know, you could be her evil twin. But then, we'd be dealing with clich�s, and you know how I feel about those. No, actually you know how I feel about those..." -- O'Neill
"Well, the combined IQ of Earth might go up a few points having two Carters around." -- O'Neill
"Quite the military mind, Daniel Jackson." -- O'Neill
"Carter, download the program to the removable whatever-it-is, and meet me and yourself in the lab." -- O'Neill
"The idea was to zat him." -- O'Neill
"As I said, O'Neill, ours is the only reality of consequence." -- Teal'c
"All right, I gotta know. What the hell does 'kree' mean?" -- O'Neill
"Well, actually, it means a lot of things. Um, loosely translated it means 'attention', 'listen up', 'concentrate'..." -- Jackson
"Yoo-hoo??" -- O'Neill
"Yes, in a manner of speaking." -- Jackson
"Kawalsky, during your Special Ops training in your world, did they cover silence?" -- O'Neill
"My First Prime killed you before my very eyes." -- Alternate Apophis
"I'm feeling much better now, thank you." -- O'Neill
"Oh, come on, ya gotta love those guys!" -- O'Neill
"You have to understand. My Jack had the same face, same voice, same hands." -- Alternate Sam
"Which brings to mind an obvious question. How could you marry such a loser?" -- O'Neill
Deadman Switch
"Actually, I'm a Major now." -- Carter
"Oh, well, how very important. I'll inform the galaxy." -- Aris Boch
"And you, O'Neill, you're considered, well, you're a pain in the mikta." -- Aris Boch
"Neck?" -- O'Neill
"No." -- Teal'c
"Do you want to know how I became the greatest bounty hunter in the galaxy?" -- Aris Boch
"More than life itself." -- O'Neill
"We're exactly one zat gun short of actually having a zat gun." -- O'Neill
"Um... Almond bark, Barca Lounger, Beetlejuice! -- O'Neill
"He said, 'Barokna!'" -- Jackson
"Gesundheit." -- O'Neill
"Tacs." -- Teal'c
"Tac'n'ktel?" -- O'Neill
"Tacluchnatagamuntoron... Tacs." -- Teal'c
"Actually, the Goa'uld want to see you dead as much as anyone for figuring out the stargate." -- Aris Boch
"Thank you. That doesn't make me feel any better." -- Jackson
Demons
"Have you not read the Bible, O'Neill?" -- Teal'c
"Oh, yeah, yeah... Not all of it. Actually, I'm listening to it on tape. Don't tell me how it ends." -- O'Neill
"They didn't call them "The Dark Ages" because it was dark." -- Jackson
"Major, next time Daniel gets the urge to help someone, shoot him." -- O'Neill
"So, how long are you going to keep this up? The demon bit? Don't get me wrong. Looks like a great gig. You got the padre in your back pocket, the hours are good, probably get all the chicks, huh?" -- O'Neill
"Unas, what does Sokar have on you that makes you so dang cranky?" -- O'Neill
Rules Of Engagement
"You know, that U.A.V. needs a swift kick in the C.P.U." -- O'Neill
"Pretending not to be dead will just get you into more trouble." -- Soldier
"More trouble than dead?" -- O'Neill
"Four eyes?" -- Jackson
"You are all casualties until 1400 hours." -- Rogers
"Would that be daylight savings or standard?" -- O'Neill
"Corn and cotton are indigenous to North America." -- Rogers
"And that information could save your life one day." -- O'Neill
"They are intar." -- Teal'c
"Short for?" -- O'Neill
"Intar." -- Teal'c
"This is Colonel O'Neill. He is much loved by Apophis." -- Teal'c
"The whole "invasion of the Tauri" idea has been cancelled due to... rain." -- O'Neill
"Hello? Is this mike on?" -- O'Neill
"Just a huge, honkin' Apophis, Major. Nothing to worry about." -- O'Neill
"I'd like to debrief ASAP, Colonel." -- Hammond
"Yes, My Lord." -- O'Neill
"It's poison." -- Rogers
"It's hospital food. Of course it is. Mmm... tuna." -- O'Neill
"This is the infamous Tuna Torture." -- O'Neill
"I think you know where I'm going with this, Sir." -- Carter
"Haven't a clue." -- O'Neill
"Get the vacuum!" -- O'Neill
"Vo'cume." -- Rogers
"Whatever! Get it!" -- O'Neill
Forever In a Day
"Geek." -- O'Neill
"Yes, you used to call
me
that." -- Daniel
"I was
talking
about you." -- O'Neill
"Now see, I miss that. I have no idea what he means, but I buy it." -- O'Neill
Past and Present
"The MALP is worthless. You I'll trust." -- O'Neill
"Don't say it Carter... Don't. Don't! Ah! Ah... la la la lalalalalala..." -- O'Neill
"Who would you trust with your life more than anyone else in the world? Don't worry, I won't be offended if you don't pick me." -- Daniel
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