ZOMBIE
Small Victories
The Other Side
Upgrades
Crossroads
Divide and Conquer
Window of Opportunity
Watergate
The First Ones
Scorched Earth
Small Victories
"'Scuse me... sorry... ow..." -- Daniel
"We did kind of save the planet, Sir." -- Carter
"Again. This should not get old, General." -- O'Neill
"I'd be happy to debrief you all after I've debriefed myself for a nice hot shower." -- O'Neill
"Permission to shower granted. In fact, I insist on it, Colonel." -- Hammond
"Bad?" -- O'Neill
"I wasn't going to say anything..." -- Daniel
"Ya sure, you betcha." -- O'Neill, and later Carter
"It's ironic that Sam's not here to save herself" -- Jackson
"You guys are the closest thing to experts that we have" -- Major Davis
"Well, as an expert, I'm saying blow it up" -- O'Neill
"Wait a minute. You're actually saying that you need someone dumber than you are?" -- Daniel
"You may have come to the right place." -- O'Neill
"I could go. Sir." -- Carter
"I don't know, Carter, you may not be dumb enough." -- O'Neill
"Would it be necessary for me to mention my insane aversion to bugs at this time?" -- O'Neill
"I like the yellow ones." -- Thor
"Look, every other bug on that sub is probably going to be pretty upset when you kill 'Mom.'" -- Daniel
"That ship is everything they're looking for. It'll look like an all-you-can-eat buffet." -- Carter
"It was your stupid idea, Major Carter." -- Thor
"They're okay!! The... the... the... the... th-th-they're okay!!" -- Daniel
"We kicked their asses." -- Carter
"They had asses?" -- O'Neill
"Well, if you ever need any more dumb ideas, you know where to find me." -- Carter
The Other Side
"Didn't I order you to get a life?" -- O'Neill
"You've got that look." -- O'Neill
"To which look are you referring, O'Neill?" -- Teal'c
"The one that says, 'I have misgivings about this mission, but deep down I know we're doing the right thing'?" -- Daniel
"No, the other one." -- O'Neill
"Oh..." -- Daniel
"Their whole world is in flames, and we're offering gasoline! How is that help?" -- Daniel
"We are, in fact, offering water." -- Teal'c
"I was speaking metaphorically." -- Jackson
"Well, stop it! It's not fair to Teal'c." -- O'Neill
"So, what's your impression of Alar?" -- O'Neill
"That he is concealing something." -- Teal'c
"Like what?" -- O'Neill
"I am unsure. He is concealing it." -- Teal'c
"Colonel..." -- Hammond
"Now, I already know what you're going to say, but..." -- Jackson
"You have a go." -- Hammond
"from a strictly humanitarian point of view... what?" -- Jackson
"So, does this thing take quarters?" -- O'Neill
"Oh right, we were very impressed with that beta...cure...candy stuff." -- O'Neill
"Next time I tell you to shut up..." -- O'Neill
"I didn't hear you tell me to shut up." -- Jackson
"Too subtle for you?" -- O'Neill
"For once, yes." -- O'Neill
"Daniel, shut up. Is that clear enough?" -- O'Neill
"We're not going." -- O'Neill
"Why?" -- Jackson
"Teal'c and I are going to have a look around first. You... ask questions." -- O'Neill
"I thought you told me to..." -- Jackson
"I know what I said, Daniel. It was rude, shortsighted, and I'm sorry." -- O'Neill
"Well, thank you for recognising..." -- Jackson
"Now I'm saying this...go ask questions. Lots of questions." -- O'Neill
"Okay, um, well, you call them the enemy. Understandably, they're your enemy" -- Jackson
Upgrades
"Yep, that looks like trouble to me." -- Daniel
"Your strength is five times that of a normal human." -- Anise
"So, no increase then, huh?" -- O'Neill
"We've tried everything short of surgically removing their arms." -- Fraiser
"We'll hold that option in reserve." -- Hammond
"Just say the word." -- O'Neill
"Thank you." -- Hammond
"Seriously, say it. Say the word." -- O'Neill
"Dismissed." -- Hammond
"We can be ready in three seconds." -- O'Neill
"Colonel..." -- Hammond
"Two! Hey, we're ready!" -- O'Neill
"Jack, please! Just get the hell out of my office!" -- Hammond
"Earth... steaks... there's a difference?" -- O'Neill
"I thought the devices were supposed to enhance them physically, not make them stupid." -- Hammond
"We'll need snacks." -- O'Neill
"We should have brought more snacks." -- O'Neill
"So, the fact that we're staying is based on a completely informed decision." -- Daniel
Crossroads
"Bra'tac, you've done something with your hair." -- O'Neill
"She's a temple priestess. So, they don't do a lot of dating." -- Daniel
"Maybe not, but there was some serious sparkage when she arrived." -- O'Neill
"Your father asked that I shake your hand, and give Colonel O'Neill a big kiss from him." -- Anise
"That might have been the other way around." -- Carter
"Maybe..." -- O'Neill
"You know, this whole talking to two people in one body thing really sucks!" -- O'Neill
"Teal'c, how about a little introduction of some sort?" -- O'Neill
"There is no need. Bra'tac has told me much of the Tauri. You are O'Neill, Teal'c's apprentice." -- Sha'nauc
"Yeah... apprentice?" -- O'Neill
"Also a warrior of great skill and cunning." -- Sha'nauc
"Apprentice?" -- O'Neill
"My symbiote has assured me that this will not happen again." -- Sha'nauc
"Oh, well, if the snake says so, then who are we?" -- O'Neill
"But let's call a snake a snake, shall we?" -- O'Neill
*pretending to be humble* "Master Teal'c." -- O'Neill
"I am in need of your assistance." -- Teal'c
"I'm here to serve." -- O'Neill
"Egeria.. Roman goddess of fountains." -- Daniel
"Fountains?" -- O'Neill
"Also childbirth." -- Daniel
"How do those two go together?" -- O'Neill
"Jack O'Neill, Earth. Forgive my bluntness here, but do you have any idea what you're getting into?" -- O'Neill
"We have told him everything." -- Anise
"Yeah, well I've noticed the Tok'ra have a tendency to leave out minor details along the way sometimes. You do know this thing's going to be in your head, right? You only get your body part-time?" -- O'Neill
"How do I hang up with Anise and talk to Freya?" -- O'Neill
"Why?" -- Anise
"I like Freya!" -- O'Neill
"I guess we should just mosey on back to Earth and tell General Hammond how the Tok'ra boned us again." -- O'Neill
Divide and Conquer
"Do we, or do we not, have a Zanax detector?" -- O'Neill
"I think these are the Jack O'Neill moments I would probably miss the most." -- Daniel
"I didn't leave, because I'd have rather died myself than lose Carter... Because I care about her... a lot more than I'm supposed to." -- O'Neill
Window of Opportunity
"I realise that the Asgards returned you to normal, which is fortunate... I suppose..." -- Daniel
"What about Teal'c? Come on, is this the face of a crazy man?... Bad example." -- O'Neill
"What kind of archaeologist carries a weapon?" -- O'Neill
"Uh... I do." -- Daniel
"I ask you, what could possibly be in my eye that would explain this?" -- O'Neill
"Every time we loop, Daniel asks me a question, and I wasn't paying attention the first time." -- O'Neill
"Lose it. It means, go crazy... nuts... insane... bonzo... no longer in possessions of one's faculties... three fries short of a Happy Meal... WACKO!!" -- O'Neill
Watergate
"I suppose you expect my male bravado to kick in right about now." -- O'Neill
"I have read your file." -- Markov
"No mention of bravado, eh?" -- O'Neill
"Is he always like this?" -- Markov
"Actually, this is quite charming." -- Carter
"Out... of the plane??" -- Daniel
"This does not seem wise, O'Neill!" -- Teal'c
"I said it was easy, not wise!" -- O'Neill
"If I ask what, and you say it's classified, I'm gonna shoot you." -- O'Neill
"Oh dang. I've never been in a submarine before." -- O'Neill
"Holy frozen bad guys." -- O'Neill
"The sub is Swiss." -- Markov
"So they occasionally catch fire, but they keep perfect time. Sorry. I think I've been hanging around Jack O'Neill too much." -- Daniel
"But it's Swiss!" -- Daniel
"Do not humans usually die when they are frozen?" -- Teal'c
The First Ones
"Well, that was a nice rest. I should be good for another seven miles" -- Daniel
"This is a radio. It's so my friends can find me, and shoot you." -- Daniel
"Moon dance, what was I thinking?" -- Daniel
"You know, if I am the main course, I'd rather you fill up on the appetisers." -- Daniel
"Now, don't say "ka" til you've tried it." -- Daniel
"This is funny. I met my father-in-law like this." -- Daniel
"Trust in me, O'Neill." -- Teal'c
"What if I'm not O'Neill?" -- O'Neill
"Then I was not talking to you." -- Teal'c
"I want to go home. I mean, don't get me wrong, it has been a hoot, but I did just pass up a chance to kill you..." -- Daniel
"All right, anybody with a snake in their head, raise their hand. ...Damn." -- O'Neill
"This way." -- Teal'c
"You're good." -- O'Neill
Scorched Earth
"Oh, yeah... little fuzzy orange things." -- O'Neill
"Not exactly E.T." -- O'Neill
